Get all 12 Legends Of Country releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Anything But Country, Single Again, Everything's Going South, If That's What It Takes, New Year, New Me, From St George To Snowflake (Single), The Saturday Dads, Jelly And Jam, and 4 more.
1. |
Anything But Country
03:33
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It was just a night in the pub like all the others
At last orders I was sitting there drinking alone
I could have left those last few sips of warm lager in that glass
But I just didn’t feel like going home
I asked the girl behind the bar about the jukebox
And if we still had time for a couple of songs
She took some change from her tip jar
And I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to put on
And she said
“Anything but country
Anything but that
It’s all pick up trucks and twelve point bucks and boots and silly hats
I like a little Dolly Parton and I don’t mind Johnny Cash
Put on anything but country
Anything but that”
She cashed up as I scrolled down through the jukebox
And tried to pick out a song we both might like
I knew she didn’t like country music but I don’t like a lot else
And I guess you’ll never know unless you try
I eased her in with a bit of Kenny Rogers
Followed it up with a little Merle
Then I put on Hank Williams Jr and she started pouring shots
And the rest of the night was a blur
Cos she liked anything but country
That’s what she said
But I could tell by the way she was looking at me
We wouldn’t be leaving just yet
I could hear her humming along when I put on Tammy Wynette
She liked anything but country
Or so she said
Anything but country
But I wasn’t done yet
We left the pub at four o’clock in the morning
Singing Bobbie Gentry and a bottle of bourbon down
If you don’t like country music I guess we can still be friends
Just give it time and I know you’ll come around
Cos she liked anything but country
That’s what she thought
She’d never been one for drinking whiskey and wearing cut off shorts
But I like to think there’s a little bit of Waylon in us all
She liked anything but country
Or so she thought
Anything but country
But not anymore
Anything but country
Not anymore
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2. |
What Women Do
03:14
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Just imagine
For a moment
What the powers that be would do
About sexual harassment
If it was men it happened to
They’d bring in laws
To make wolf whistling a hate crime
And telling men to smile would be illegal too
And if there weren’t they’d wonder where all the laws to protect them were
If men had to go through
What women do
Just imagine
For a moment
If men had to be afraid
Of sitting too close to a stranger
On an early morning train
If men had to walk home
With their keys between their fingers
And twelve year old boys had to carry rape alarms
There’d be armed guards in the parks when they walked there after dark
If men had to go through
What women do
And they wouldn’t say it’s not all men if almost all of them
Had at some time gone through
What women do
Just imagine
For a moment
If all those women had been men
I wonder if they would believe them
Instead of blaming them
Would anyone suggest that men were asking for it
Every time a passing car honked its horn
What they wore or the way they walked wouldn’t come into it at all
If men had to go through
What women do
And they wouldn’t say “it’s okay, it’s just always been that way”
If men had to go through
What women do
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3. |
Punchin'
02:46
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The whole town’s talking about us
Twerking to Chattahoochee
They’re all wondering what you see in a loser like me
Like Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts
It’s one of life’s great mysteries
You’re obviously out of my league
Cos everyone keeps telling me that
I’ve always been punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
I’ve always been punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
Above my weight with you
I always hoped I was gonna get lucky
I can’t believe how lucky I got
We all know that you could easily do better if you wanted to
I’ve always been punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
I’ve always been punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
Above my weight with you
Punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
I’ve always been punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
We both know I’ve been punchin’
Punchin’
Punchin’
Above my weight with you
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4. |
Everything's Going South
03:00
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I know I’ve let myself go
I’ve been living too fast when I should’ve been taking it slow
I’m a hot dog away from a heart attack
It’s time to get my life back on track
Get a band together and get back out on the road
I’ve been going out too often
Staying up too late
I’ve tried a little light exercising but I just can’t shift the weight
so I’m sucking it up
Squeezing it in
I don’t even want to look down
There’s some middle age spreading and I know where it’s heading
Everything’s going south
Going south
Going south
Going south
Everything’s going south
I know I’ve let myself go
I’ve been letting things slide and I feel like it’s starting to show
When the spoon hits the bottom of the Häagen-Dazs
You can bet your cute little country ass
There’s only one place that cookie dough’s going to go
I keep thinking that I’m younger than I really am
I’m taking naps in the afternoon wherever and whenever I can
I haven’t got time to have a good time
I’ve gotta quit goofing around
There’s some middle age spreading and I know where it’s heading
Everything’s going south
Going south
Going south
Going south
Everything’s going south
Suddenly it hits you
And that’s when you know
That you’ve got more years behind you than you’ve got left to go
It’s catching me up a little too quick
I’ve gotta start slowing it down
There’s some middle age spreading and I know where it’s heading
Everything’s going south
There’s some middle age spreading and I know where it’s heading
Everything’s going south
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5. |
Funerals and Fiftieths
03:34
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I look back at us in our twenties
It seemed like every other weekend
We’d always be out in the country at a wedding for one of our friends
The church steps covered in confetti
As we sat looking down at our toes
Squeezed into the pews in Hugo Boss suits
But that all seems so long ago
Now it’s just funerals and fiftieths
And that’s it these days
We’ve hardly spoken since I moved away
We used to be inseparable
But nobody gets old without having regrets
I’ll always have my regrets
It’s a day that they’ll always remember
In that overly lit village hall
The bride and the groom danced to Harvest Moon
While we sat and drank Echo Falls
Now it’s just funerals and fiftieths
And oh how time flies
We’ve all given up smoking in front of our wives
It’s afternoons in Wetherspoons
Where nobody gets old without having regrets
I’ll always have my regrets
Now it’s just funerals and fiftieths
And loose fitting jeans
We’re all so much older than I thought we’d be
I guess we’ve not really changed a lot
But nobody gets old without having regrets
I’ll always have my regrets
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6. |
Single Again
02:48
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Single again
I didn’t want to be single again
I have enough trouble just making friends
I don’t know how I’ll cope with being single again
I’m set in my ways
I don’t leave the house at all some days
I wouldn’t know where to take someone on a date
I haven’t been on one since the tenth grade
And now I’m single again
I didn’t want to be single again
If I go out every night and get drunk then
Maybe I’ll forget that I am single again
Everything’s changed
The last time I took a girl on a date
I bought her flowers and a box of milk tray
But it’s all dating apps and dick pics these days
And now I’m single again
I didn’t want to be single again
I’m going to look up all my old girlfriends
Just to let them know that I am single again
Single again
I didn’t want to be single again
Someday I’ll fall in love but until then
I guess I’ll make the most of being single again
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7. |
New Year, New Me
03:06
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New year, new me
I’ve got a list of resolutions i’m planning to keep
Next year I’ll be the kind of man you’ve always wanted me to be
In six months time you won’t recognise me from the mess I am right now
I’m going to settle down
Sort myself out
And turn my life around
I will
I’ll change
I’ll stop living off late night takeaways and lose some weight
I still love you
I only hope it’s not too late
I might’ve made a lot of silly mistakes but things are going to be different now
I’m going to settle down
Sort myself out
And turn my life around
No cheese
No chips
I always let my heartaches go straight to my hips
I make a mess of most of my relationships
I’ve had enough of having to get drunk to enjoy myself when I go out
I’m going to settle down
Sort myself out
And turn my life around
I know you’ve heard it all a million times before
So I understand you having your doubts
But I’m going to settle down
Sort myself out
And turn my life around
I’m going to settle down
Sort myself out and turn my life around
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8. |
If That's What It Takes
03:01
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Well lately I’ve been struggling to get things off the ground
I’ve got a full time job I’m trying to fit my dreams around
It isn’t easy
And it’s only getting harder
I’ve been looking at my optics and I think the data shows
I need a TikTok account to optimise my SEOs
I could do that
I just need to learn some dance moves
I’ve never worn a baseball cap backwards
But I’ll try anything these days
I’ll sing about dirt roads and dance with my shirt off
If that’s what it takes that’s what it takes
If that’s what it takes that’s what it takes
I keep coming back from Nashville with my tail between my legs
I’ve maxxed out all my credit cards but I’ve got no regrets
It’ll all be worth it
If I get to play the Grand Ole Opry
On Monday nights
I’ll be in the King’s Head
On that little corner stage
I’ll sing Oasis and Friends In Low Places
If that’s what it takes that’s what it takes
If that’s what it takes that’s what it takes
I’ll be on my way
Back out to Nashville
Just as soon as I get paid
All it takes is three chords and I’ll buy up some billboards
If that’s what it takes that’s what it takes
If that’s what it takes that’s what it takes
That’s what it takes
That’s what it takes
That’s what it takes
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9. |
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It isn’t easy being a man
It isn’t easy being a man
We’ve all got feelings we don’t understand
It isn’t easy being a man
I’ll always be a failed astronaut
Brought up on Yorkie bars and Lucozade Sport
And I’m always reminded
To just be a man
But there’s so many ways I keep falling short
I still don’t know what the world wants from me
I think it’s got something to do with wet look gel and dried meats
I’ve tried bulking up on protein shakes
And laughing at all the jokes the other men make
But comparing our PB’s just fills me with shame
Perhaps joining the gym might’ve been a mistake
If only I could be more like other men
Splitting hairs and sinking pints and pointing cars out to my friends
It isn’t easy being a man
It isn’t easy being a man
I don’t even know how to be sad
It isn’t easy
It isn’t easy
It isn’t easy being a man
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10. |
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I read about the world ending
In an article in the New York Times
Perhaps we should leave London for a few days
Just to be on the safe side
Instead of sitting here worrying
Both of us wondering
If this is really the end
I’m sad and I’m scared
But I want to be prepared for the end of the world again
I don’t think you’ll need all those jumpers
I’m just bringing T-shirts and shorts
I hope we’ve got enough time left on earth to eat all those biscuits you bought
I’ve packed a puzzler magazine
Two tubs of Ovaltine and my Nokia 5210
The days come and they go
It’s like nobody knows
It’s the end of the world again
It’s the end of the world again
We drove out to the countryside
In the middle of the night
And found somewhere to pitch up our tent
we drank warm white wine and listened to John Prine
It’s the end of the world again
Then we watched the sun rise for perhaps the last time
It’s the end of the world again
We spent the apocalypse
Eating cheese strings and choc dips
Trying to facetime our friends
Cutting each others hair in our underwear
It’s the end of the world again
It’s just you and me and it’s hard to believe
It’s the end of the world again
It’s the end of the world again
It’s the end of the world again
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